Following
on from the article I read and shared this weekend – 7 things successful people
do at the weekend - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/weekend-habits-successful-people_559e7e54e4b05b1d028fbda2?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000033
from the
Huffington Post Healthy Living edition, I was thinking of turning it around
slightly and wondering how to actually make my weekends more successful – as well
as less stressful, more relaxing but less hectic, more inspiring and fulfilled,
while less rushed.
Researching
other habits successful people adopt at the weekends and looking at why we have
weekends anyway, I found a lot of lists. Forbes offers us 14 things successful
people do; http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/02/22/14-things-successful-people-do-on-weekends/2/
Lifehacks.com
gives us 12 things under the heading of productivity;
Most
lists give us more or less the same ideas – for example the Huff Post focuses
in on the following (all in a lovely info-graphic – I do love an info-graphic!)
1) Plan (yep)
2) Limit chores (you don’t have to ask me
twice!)
3) Reflect on the week (ok, useful)
4) Mingle & Bond (socialising at the
weekend, yep I can do that)
5) Unplug (from all tech for a while….hmmm ok
then)
6) Recharge (does napping count?)
7) Exercise (to be honest I do mine in the
week and take the weekends off)
To start
with, lets think about your weekend:
“Friday evening until Sunday night;
the part of the week in which many people living in the West do not work” (Cambridge English Dictionary)
“Saturday and Sunday, especially
regarded as time for leisure”
(Oxford English Dictionary)
“Any two-day period taken or given
regularly as a weekly rest period from ones work” (Dictionary.com)
This
guardian article also looks at the development of the working week vs the
weekend and the Victorian work ethic – v interesting:
Your
weekend – or indeed any day(s) you have OFF from the working routine therefore are there to be enjoyed, they are your
“leisure time” to recharge, after which you should return to work feeling
refreshed and invigorated, happy and motivated surely? Hmmmm – if you’re anything like me you start
your Monday (or first day back to work) more stressed than when you left, so
tired that copious amounts of coffee are your only reason for living, and
usually still a little jaded wondering where the time went asking who hit fast
forward for those 2 days and how come your To Do list is longer this Monday
than last – Am I right?
Well
I’ve been wondering how this always happens and as I’ve got older and busier it
seems to have got even worse. I seem to
have less and less time to myself, but more and more chores and
responsibilities to fit in, so therefore find myself rushing things, getting
them wrong, missing stuff, feeling stressed, anxious and sometimes getting frustrated
(with the situation, with myself and with others) far too quickly. If and when I do find 5mins to “relax” I feel
really guilty for just stopping for a cuppa, or popping the TV on for half hour
and slumping in front of it. Why? –
because there is always something else I need to be/could be doing.
I
realised recently I really need to change of this thought process – yes there
probably is always something else I could do and sometimes even should do, but
a lot of the time….it can wait. “Never put
off til tomorrow what you can do today” (Thomas Jefferson) That’s the line I’ve
always been fed and I agree, I do, I totally understand BUT I suggest that you add
4 P points to this:
My
first P = Plan. The
one thing I found in common on all research I’ve read is that planning
your weekend and during the weekend, planning your week ahead, is the first step
to successful, productive, happy days. “If you fail to plan, you are planning
to fail” – Benjamin Franklin was right – right?
My
second P = Prioritize. Think about how important that THING is that
could be done today or tomorrow. If you
don’t finish it today is it life or death?
Is there a deadline on it? Obviously
if it’s a job application for example, or something that has a deadline/time
limit then of course do it today and don’t put it off - but anything else could
still be finished tomorrow right, and if it isn’t even done tomorrow would it
make a difference, would it matter this time next week, next month or next year?
Therefore
my third P = Perspective.
Get your to do list into priority order and then add some perspective and
objectivity. Of course there will be
certain things you can’t put off, or appointments or arrangements you’ve made,
but take a step back and really look at what you’re asking yourself to do. Make sure things that should be part of your
leisure time, tasks that should be enjoyable haven’t crept onto the To Do list. For example, sometimes I find myself thinking
“I really must finish that book” because I know I’m so close to the end of a
great read, and it’s been sat on the bottom of my handbag for a few weeks while
I thought I may get a chance to read it but I haven’t yet, so think I will
finish it at the weekend. From this,
after a couple weekends it becomes something I think I NEED to do, rather than
something that until that point has been enjoyable – Don’t let that happen!
After
I applied these 3 P’s, I started looking for a solution to the feeling guilty
about doing “nothing” about spending time relaxing, sitting, stopping…..reading….
I figured there could be a way to focus on things that I could be “doing”, that
were also relaxing, meaningful, productive and inspiring. Things that would leave me feeling relaxed,
but also feeling that I had achieved and had an enjoyable, rewarding
weekend. Things that didn’t leave me
feeling I had wasted any time, but that I had used my energy well, while still
recharging enough to face the next week without complaint or guilt...
So
my fourth P = Productivity. I think we need to start focusing on being
productive rather than simply busy – these are 2 very different things and we very
much need to recognise that difference. It has been found that prosperity is
linked to productivity, rather than the amount of hours you are working, but
what you do within those hours. Remember
Parkinsons law – “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its” so if
you being are productive, you will plan time for work, rest and play in my
opinion!
So,
as well as the 4 P’s I wanted to share my little list of things I found I can
plan and focus on during my time off (weekends) that help me feel I have
achieved, that inspire me to do them again and that ultimately make me happy. I hope you can take on some of these and they
can help you too.
No nonsense ideas
for a fulfilling and successful weekend include:
1) Cooking
Of course my number one is
cooking. I focus on nutrition, on food
and health – remember nutrition and nourishment is not only for the body but
for the mind and soul too – so eating well and keeping active are both great,
but we need to remember to feed and nourish our minds a little too. If you enjoy food as I do, why not spend some
time at the weekend cooking, making up recipes, trying something new or just
working through a good old favourite dish.
The chopping, blending, stirring, etc can be quite relaxing as is the
sense of achievement when you get to taste the finished product. Baking is especially good for this as you get
to lick the bowl and fill the house with the smell of cookies, or cake too!
This is also a practical option as you will need to eat – you need dinner for
yourself and perhaps the family at the weekend so instead of rushing around
then bunging something in the oven or ordering a delivery, spend some time
making a nourishing meal that you will enjoy. (As a side note, if you don’t enjoy
cooking, a task such as gardening also fulfils the same roles, so maybe get out
and potter and you will see your efforts rewarded when your crops, or flowers
bloom).
2) Writing
Of course no surprise I pick this
too, as I love to write (ie you are reading the blog I’ve just written!) but I find as well as obviously being
practical in terms of communication, writing can free up a little space in my
mind. You don’t need to write articles
or blogs, or essays or answers – writing for pleasure is slightly
different. You can still write with
purpose, but how about a letter to a friend?
I know communication is instant these days but who doesn’t love a
surprise letter or postcard? Write to a
friend you haven’t caught up with in a while and you might just get a letter
back too.
OR how about starting a
journal? I don’t mean a teenage diary
type, how about a gratitude journal? It
has been said that showing gratitude is the first step on the happiness
ladder! You could start by just writing
down each weekend something you are grateful
for, then someone you are grateful
for and finally something you are grateful
you have done, you have managed, or you are proud of. These things can be as big or small as you
like for example you could be grateful the sun was out so you didn’t have to
wait in the rain when the train was delayed, you might be grateful for the guy
in the sandwich shop that let you in the queue before him while he was still
choosing, or you could be proud of yourself for simply sitting and taking 5mins
to do this today! It will become easier and easier each time to find something,
and if you think of more than one thing for each category write them all
down. Reading back on this in a few
weeks and perhaps doing it more regularly than just at the weekend will leave
you feeling warm fuzzy and fulfilled – I promise.
3) Walking
Again no surprises I have chosen
this. As a fully qualified Walking For
Health leader, I believe 100% that walking can make anyone feel better, feel
inspired and feel a success. Simple, uncompetitive walking can bring an
enormous sense of relaxation too.
Whether you nip out to walk the dog, are lucky enough to have a park or
beach or river nearby where you can walk and enjoy nature, or whether you are a
member of a walking group – I would fully recommend you just get outside and
get moving. Make sure you have some
comfy shoes and practical clothing and go walk a bit, it’s free and pretty much
anyone can do it! You know even if you just
get out and round the block you’ve done something – you’ve got some air in your
lungs and got the heart pumping so should be feeling good and energised. If you are lucky enough to take in some
scenery then you may also feel more relaxed walking to a spot, taking a picnic
or a drink and watching the world go by for a bit. If you are in a walking group or getting out
with friends/family for a chat too, it can become a very inspiring and creative
time.
4) Reading
Again, no surprise as I mentioned it
in the opener, but again like writing, I mean reading for fun – for pleasure –
not the reading of text books, reports, or even newspapers with depressing,
violent stories. Reading fact or fiction – that’s up to you. Getting lost in a great book though can take
you away, free your mind into another world and leave you feeling contented and
fulfilled so a great mental boost and a great way to relax the body curled up
or lying down while you enjoy your book.
It can also be inspiring and educational without you realising it. Getting to know a character in a book can
help social skills and help understand other people, personalities and
situations. Obviously reading helps keep
your mind sharp and ticking over too, trying to work out plot lines and keeping
up with the twists and turns you may experience in the story.
5) Napping
Relaxing
your mind and body at the same time does wonders. Although I’ve said napping here, this could
be meditation, guided meditation, simply lying down so your body is totally supported
and at rest while watching a movie or cracking open a box set for example. You may well nod off (as you may do when
getting a massage) but this is all good!
Don’t feel guilty, if the mind and body need it, it will come and sleep
or meditation really is one of the best remedies at the weekend to de-stress,
to relax, and recharge. The best time
for this may well be after you’ve had all that fresh air from your walk, or
vice versa – an invigorating stride outdoors after a short nap could make you
feel refreshed (before returning to write that letter and cook a lovely cake
for tea!)
6) Getting
lost
Perhaps on your walk, or using
transport it can be great at the weekend to escape your usual routine, so maybe
taking a bus you haven’t taken before or getting off at a different
station. Finding a new café, or park, or
just a new area you like can be rewarding and if you don’t go and look you will
never know, so get lost on a city walk, take a different train or tube line
without any pressure. It doesn’t matter
if it takes longer, you’re not in a rush and have no real “destination” you
will know when you get there. It doesn’t matter if it’s not your usual route –
that’s the point. You might end up
finding a quicker, easier, cheaper, more scenic and enjoyable route to work or
school, or a friends place, you might just find a great book shop, café or
venue, there may be some great charity shops or a new view – take it all in and
feel proud you’ve done it.
7) Getting
creative
Hand eye co-ordination and
repetitive doing IS relaxing. Fact. So maybe taking a creative course in
jewellery making, knitting, pottery or something along those lines could be a
good idea for a something productive (3rd P) at the weekend. You’d be learning a new skill while relaxing,
so not wasting any time at all and you are more likely to meet like-minded
people too so incorporating the socialising (the mingle and bond part of the
infographic from the Huff Post). At the
same time getting creative, ensures you are using your hands for something
other than technology – ie do it with the phone turned off, you can keep
checking your messages when knitting or when you have a handful of potters
clay!
8) Volunteering
If anything ticks the box for being
productive, fulfilling and successful in your time off - it’s
volunteering. I fully recommend this
one. However little time you may have
volunteering is a skill you can use to fill it.
Any time you can give will always be appreciated by local charities,
shops, hospitals, community centres, libraries – so get involved in your local
community. Volunteer some time to help,
or share a skill, and feel good about it!
These
points are of course suggestions to make your weekend more successful than just
one that was filled with trying to complete the never ending list of chores –
but at the same time should provide some food for thought as all activities
listed are fully rejuvenating and – in my opinion – great to feed your mind,
body and soul on your days off.
Make
your weekend successful and fulfilling and on Monday morning or whenever you
head back to work and someone asks you “good weekend?” - genuinely, and with a
huge smile, you will say YES - even if you’ve spent it finishing your book,
taking a nap and getting the bus to the wrong stop!
Weekends will never be the same
again!
Let me know what you think and any
tips you have of your own
Obviously
this is not an exhaustive list, just the things I have done so far, and of
course we could open many other doors and talk a lot more about stress,
anxiety, or achievement and inspiration, connections, spirituality, meditation,
relaxation or being productive vs being busy here, but for today I just wanted
to share my list so far, so you can add to it and try things out for yourself
if you find your weekends currently follow the same pattern as mine!
As always you can get more info via
email: info@nitakothari.com or for consultation, workshops etc bookings@nitakothari.com
You can share your tips for a
successful weekend via Facebook, via twitter (@nononsensenita) or with pics at
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full blog (and previous entries) are at nononsensenita.blogspot.co.uk
**Please
remember this is advice ONLY (as is all other information and
advice contained in this blog and the websites and social media related to it)
– none of the info, advice or opinion is intended to override any recommendation from
your GP or health professional**
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